Want to start a meaningful conversation with your daughter after school? 十大最好的网赌平台’s Director of 入学 and Enrollment Sara Stephenson, who has 24 years of experience in independent schools and is a mother of two, knows that getting children to open up takes work but is also well worth the effort. She recently shared her insight into engaging your daughter about her day.
It can be a daily struggle to get information out of your daughter at the end of the day. You want to be connected to her learning, so why is it so hard to get her to answer basic questions? Here are four ways to build understanding and engagement:
提供空间安全
Your daughter has just finished a really long day. Seeing you for the first time after school may coincide with the important power down period for her brain. She needs a change of pace after busy classes and the energetic hurly burly of a school day. Get a sense of your daughter’s pace after school: does she bounce into the car energetically or does she need a period of quiet before she’s ready to debrief? 给她一个安静的空间.
帮助引导谈话
There have been hundreds of messages in your daughter’s mental inbox during the day. For younger 女孩 and adolescents, sorting through them with no filtering mechanism is challenging. It’s tough to pick from seven hours’ worth of data to answer a single general question with little guidance. “你今天在学校做了什么??” is likely to be impossible for many 女孩 to answer. Ask a question that is specific yet general enough to build on. Lower school 女孩 often connect differently than older 女孩 do; a series of anchoring questions can give continuity to the after-school conversation and lead to patterns of information that can be helpful to both you and your daughter.
给安慰
作为成年人, we have mostly learned to transition relatively easily between roles: parent, 合作伙伴, 孩子, 孙子, 朋友, 导师, leader; these are all roles that we might play over the course of a day. When your daughter sees you at the end of the day, it may be harder for her to transition roles than it is for you. 她可能需要一些缓冲时间. Going from student and 朋友 to daughter is not as straightforward as it might seem for many younger, 有时更老, 女孩. Reassure your daughter that you are excited to hear about her day at any time; it does not have to be when she first jumps into the car.
表现出热情
Always tell your daughter that you want to know about her day. Set an expectation so she knows that feedback and connectivity will form a part of the end of the day at home. 而不是“你今天做了什么??或者“你今天过得怎么样??” it can be helpful to greet your daughter with “I can’t wait to hear about your day” or “I’ve been thinking about you today and wondering what you were doing.这为以后的谈话奠定了基础.
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